But I'm not a hamster.. so what would you do?
Here's the thing. I love sushi.
I really LOVE sushi.
But G and I have this long standing issue about eating sushi --let's call it a competition of sorts.
I hate that it's true, but I ALWAYS lose.
Let me explain.
Let's say you order a cute little spicy tuna roll--you choose the maki version where it's cut up into 6 bite-sized pieces. You pick one up with your chopsticks, dip it in some soy sauce and pop it in your mouth. All is going smoothly and aren't you looking cute doing it.
Then you switch it up-- you turn your attention to the spider roll perhaps, the center of it filled with deep fried soft shell crab. (You love this one with all your heart).
You eyeball it.
Then you pick it up and eyeball it some more.
And you just know that sucker is not going to fit into your mouth without leaving you looking like a hamster saving up a lifetime supply of sunflower seeds. Because they do that, you know.
So I ask you: what's a girl to do?
I'll tell you what I do.
I try to bite in half. (Hangs head in frustration.)
This is not always successful and is often kind of sort of messy.
Am I the only one who finds it entirely unpleasant to be all Hammy Hamster and just pop the whole thing in my mouth? Not only do my cheeks bulge but inevitably my hand shoots up to cover my mouth to indicate that I am currently indisposed so please don't engage me in any conversation for the next 5 minutes while I try to chew this, before I choke on it and die.
By the end of our meal, you can clearly see the results of my efforts, and this is where G always wins:
his little soy sauce dish is pristine, while mine is filled with rice--evidence of my attempts to bite my sushi down to size. (Yes a second dipping is necessary, there must be soy sauce on each bite. It's the law!)
When he smiles at me because he "wins" again, I just tell him that it's only because he has a big mouth.
That's right. Uh-huh.
I still lose, but I totally get points for the comeback.
I really LOVE sushi.
But G and I have this long standing issue about eating sushi --let's call it a competition of sorts.
I hate that it's true, but I ALWAYS lose.
Let me explain.
Let's say you order a cute little spicy tuna roll--you choose the maki version where it's cut up into 6 bite-sized pieces. You pick one up with your chopsticks, dip it in some soy sauce and pop it in your mouth. All is going smoothly and aren't you looking cute doing it.
Then you switch it up-- you turn your attention to the spider roll perhaps, the center of it filled with deep fried soft shell crab. (You love this one with all your heart).
You eyeball it.
Then you pick it up and eyeball it some more.
And you just know that sucker is not going to fit into your mouth without leaving you looking like a hamster saving up a lifetime supply of sunflower seeds. Because they do that, you know.
So I ask you: what's a girl to do?
I'll tell you what I do.
I try to bite in half. (Hangs head in frustration.)
This is not always successful and is often kind of sort of messy.
Am I the only one who finds it entirely unpleasant to be all Hammy Hamster and just pop the whole thing in my mouth? Not only do my cheeks bulge but inevitably my hand shoots up to cover my mouth to indicate that I am currently indisposed so please don't engage me in any conversation for the next 5 minutes while I try to chew this, before I choke on it and die.
By the end of our meal, you can clearly see the results of my efforts, and this is where G always wins:
his little soy sauce dish is pristine, while mine is filled with rice--evidence of my attempts to bite my sushi down to size. (Yes a second dipping is necessary, there must be soy sauce on each bite. It's the law!)
When he smiles at me because he "wins" again, I just tell him that it's only because he has a big mouth.
That's right. Uh-huh.
I still lose, but I totally get points for the comeback.
posted by Michèle at 11:40 AM
8 Comments:
Wicked save on the comeback.....
I never even try to get the entire spider roll in my mouth all at once...not even polite....you win again.
i completely feel your pain... my husband's boss used to host client parties where she would serve huge platters of sushi from ubon... i LOVE sushi... but would be standing there in a silk blouse holding my little plate and chopsticks next to the CEO of some company trying to make polite conversation and figure out how to eat without looking like a drooling five year old with a gobstopper...
What you must do, my dear grasshopper, is simply switch soy sauce dishes when Mr. G leaves to "freshen up".
I am also reminded of a line from that classic of movies, Swingers (S's fave):
"You're a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins"
Confusuis say, "Man who has neat soy sauce bowl at end of sushi meal missed the point".
Alisa, well it definitely doesn't look polite when I do it, G somehow seems to manage. Good thing we're way past our first date stage otherwise he'd probably not ask me out for a second once he saw my sushi skills. Although in my own defense, I will say that I am an ACE with the chopsticks. That's right.
Kate, that would probably be my worst nightmare. The closest I got to that was a fancy sushi dinner with one of G's bosses, and that was stressful enough. But trying to eat sushi while standing up? Yikes!
Tara, oh you clever girl. I'm not sure he'll fall for it though--the man likes to win so he keeps his eyes open for any sort of cheating on my part.
And you get some serious points for quoting from Swingers. "You're money baby! You're money!"
CJ, ha! I might have to use that one on him next time. Glad to know I've got some supporters on this one!
I guess I would try to bite the legs off then eat the rest of the sushi. But your way sounds pretty good and as dainty as a lady would be able to do it. :) I wish we had spider roll here in Japan.
K&S, actually biting the legs off is my favourite part! But I still find the size of the roll itself is much to wide to get it all in in one shot.
It's a shame you can't find it in Japan. I couldn't find it anywhere when I lived it Paris and I missed it, so now we find ourselves having it at least once a week. Making up for lost time I guess ;)
I just discovered that you are back and I am soo happy! I had to laugh at this because I totally wind up with the same thing - the messy rice filled soy sauce dish. I didn't know anyone else had the same problem.
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