Random sausages and the meaning of life
There is an article on this morning’s BBC news website "Motorist's Nose Broken by Frozen Wayward Sausage". I read it and suddenly everything made sense.
It seems this particular fellow was minding his own business, driving his car with the window down, enjoying the fine weather, when a frozen sausage entered his car window at a high speed and struck him in the nose. Of course, I am in no way making light of his injuries. He did suffer a broken nose but thankfully he was able to stop his car without incident after he had been struck.
But I can't help but picture it all as though it were a scene in a movie. I'm a product of my generation it seems. Imagine, let's say, from the moment the sausage finds itself flying “waywardly” through the air. Camera zooms in, there is only sausage and blue sky, everything is moving in slow motion. Accompanying music in my movie version is “The Girl from Ipanema” creating a mood, emphasizing the leisurely flight of the sausage, and that it is completely unaware of its impending collision. Just when we’re feeling comfortable, the music stops, the camera zooms out to full view of the driver, regular speed resumes and we have impact. Right in the nose. And then: that part of the song that goes “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”, as the camera pans to the sausage resting now on the passenger seat, lifeless and completely non-threatening.
So where did this sausage come from? The article makes no mention, except to say that an investigation is underway. What does one do with a wayward sausage after it has been involved in such an incident? Was it taken by police as evidence? Will they dust it for fingerprints? Will they determine if it is hot italian sausage or chorizo? Will there be someone looking for a lost sausage in the meantime? Will the police let it thaw or keep it frozen? Which officer gets assigned the wayward sausage case and how does he feel about it? Was it fate that this man should meet this sausage on that particular day? I need to take a breath, the questions are endless, and I fear they will never be satisfactorily answered. And what of the meaning of life? Well, it's obvious isn't it?
It seems this particular fellow was minding his own business, driving his car with the window down, enjoying the fine weather, when a frozen sausage entered his car window at a high speed and struck him in the nose. Of course, I am in no way making light of his injuries. He did suffer a broken nose but thankfully he was able to stop his car without incident after he had been struck.
But I can't help but picture it all as though it were a scene in a movie. I'm a product of my generation it seems. Imagine, let's say, from the moment the sausage finds itself flying “waywardly” through the air. Camera zooms in, there is only sausage and blue sky, everything is moving in slow motion. Accompanying music in my movie version is “The Girl from Ipanema” creating a mood, emphasizing the leisurely flight of the sausage, and that it is completely unaware of its impending collision. Just when we’re feeling comfortable, the music stops, the camera zooms out to full view of the driver, regular speed resumes and we have impact. Right in the nose. And then: that part of the song that goes “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”, as the camera pans to the sausage resting now on the passenger seat, lifeless and completely non-threatening.
So where did this sausage come from? The article makes no mention, except to say that an investigation is underway. What does one do with a wayward sausage after it has been involved in such an incident? Was it taken by police as evidence? Will they dust it for fingerprints? Will they determine if it is hot italian sausage or chorizo? Will there be someone looking for a lost sausage in the meantime? Will the police let it thaw or keep it frozen? Which officer gets assigned the wayward sausage case and how does he feel about it? Was it fate that this man should meet this sausage on that particular day? I need to take a breath, the questions are endless, and I fear they will never be satisfactorily answered. And what of the meaning of life? Well, it's obvious isn't it?
Labels: Heidelberg
posted by Michèle at 2:40 AM
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